Archive for September, 2010
Work in Progress
I’ve only just realised that it’s been quite a while since I actually talked about any of my writing projects.
At the moment I am working on an urban fantasy. I gave a hearty go to writing women’s fiction because I was in love with the idea of being a women’s fiction writer (and have read a lot of books in that genre) but it’s just not for me at this point of my life. Maybe it will be in a few months or years.
I started writing my first novels as a pre-teen in the fantasy genre. I decided that I should go back to my roots while also incorporating one of my big loves: the city of Melbourne. Lo and behold, urban fantasy. I’m staying firmly away from vampires because, frankly, there is nothing I can add to that subject at the moment. I have a plot involving werewolves knocking around in my head, but I’ve written down all the notes and will continue on with what I’m working on.
I don’t have any fairies, demons, succubi, gods or goddesses or angels. I’m writing about something I haven’t read about or heard about yet in the UF world, so that either means I might have a semi-original idea (all the original ones are taken, right?) or something that will never sell. But I like it, and that’s what matters in the first draft.
I’m less than 10,000 words in, though, so that might change…
I’d love to hear about what everyone else is working on, if you care to share. We can swap first draft woes, talk about motivation and even ask questions if you like. I’m here all night.
100 Best First Lines From Novels
Found at Well-Mannered Frivolity.
This list is courtesy of American Book Review.
1. Call me Ishmael. — Herman Melville, Moby-Dick (1851)
2. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. — Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (1813)
3. A screaming comes across the sky. —Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow (1973)
4. Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. —Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude (1967; trans. Gregory Rabassa)
5. Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. —Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita (1955)
6. Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. —Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina (1877; trans. Constance Garnett)
7. River run, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs. — James Joyce, Finnegans Wake (1939)
8. It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. — George Orwell, 1984 (1949)
9. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (1859)
10. I am an invisible man. — Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man (1952)
11. The Miss Lonelyhearts of the New York Post-Dispatch (Are you in trouble?—Do-you-need-advice?—Write-to-Miss-Lonelyhearts-and-she-will-help-you) sat at his desk and stared at a piece of white cardboard. — Nathanael West, Miss Lonelyhearts (1933)
12. You don’t know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain’t no matter. — Mark Twain, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885)
13. Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested. — Franz Kafka, The Trial (1925; trans. Breon Mitchell)
14. You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino’s new novel, If on a winter’s night a traveler. — Italo Calvino, If on a winter’s night a traveler (1979; trans. William Weaver)
15. The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new. — Samuel Beckett, Murphy (1938)
16. If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. — J. D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye (1951)
17. Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo. — James Joyce, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (1916)
18. This is the saddest story I have ever heard. — Ford Madox Ford, The Good Soldier (1915)
19. I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me; had they duly considered how much depended upon what they were then doing;—that not only the production of a rational Being was concerned in it, but that possibly the happy formation and temperature of his body, perhaps his genius and the very cast of his mind;—and, for aught they knew to the contrary, even the fortunes of his whole house might take their turn from the humours and dispositions which were then uppermost:—Had they duly weighed and considered all this, and proceeded accordingly,—I am verily persuaded I should have made a quite different figure in the world, from that, in which the reader is likely to see me. — Laurence Sterne, Tristram Shandy (1759–1767)
20. Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. — Charles Dickens, David Copperfield (1850)
21. Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. — James Joyce, Ulysses (1922)
22. It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness. —Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)
23. One summer afternoon Mrs. Oedipa Maas came home from a Tupperware party whose hostess had put perhaps too much kirsch in the fondue to find that she, Oedipa, had been named executor, or she supposed executrix, of the estate of one Pierce Inverarity, a California real estate mogul who had once lost two million dollars in his spare time but still had assets numerous and tangled enough to make the job of sorting it all out more than honorary. — Thomas Pynchon, The Crying of Lot 49 (1966)
24. It was a wrong number that started it, the telephone ringing three times in the dead of night, and the voice on the other end asking for someone he was not. —Paul Auster, City of Glass (1985)
25. Through the fence, between the curling flower spaces, I could see them hitting. — William Faulkner, The Sound and the Fury (1929)
26. 124 was spiteful. — Toni Morrison, Beloved (1987)
27. Somewhere in la Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing. — Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote (1605; trans. Edith Grossman)
28. Mother died today. — Albert Camus, The Stranger (1942; trans. Stuart Gilbert)
29. Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu. — Ha Jin, Waiting (1999)
30. The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel. —William Gibson, Neuromancer (1984)
31. I am a sick man . . . I am a spiteful man. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground (1864; trans. Michael R. Katz)
32. Where now? Who now? When now? — Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable (1953; trans. Patrick Bowles)
33. Once an angry man dragged his father along the ground through his own orchard. “Stop!” cried the groaning old man at last, “Stop! I did not drag my father beyond this tree.” — Gertrude Stein, The Making of Americans (1925)
34. In a sense, I am Jacob Horner. — John Barth, The End of the Road (1958)
35. It was like so, but wasn’t. — Richard Powers, Galatea 2.2 (1995)
36. —Money . . . in a voice that rustled. — William Gaddis, J R (1975)
37. Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself. — Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway (1925)
38. All this happened, more or less. — Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
39. They shoot the white girl first. — Toni Morrison, Paradise (1998)
40. For a long time, I went to bed early. — Marcel Proust, Swann’s Way (1913; trans. Lydia Davis)
41. The moment one learns English, complications set in. — Felipe Alfau, Chromos (1990)
42. Dr. Weiss, at forty, knew that her life had been ruined by literature. — Anita Brookner, The Debut (1981)
43. I was the shadow of the waxwing slain / By the false azure in the windowpane; — Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire (1962)
44. Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board. — Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God (1937)
45. I had the story, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it was a different story. — Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome (1911)
46. Ages ago, Alex, Allen and Alva arrived at Antibes, and Alva allowing all, allowing anyone, against Alex’s admonition, against Allen’s angry assertion: another African amusement . . . anyhow, as all argued, an awesome African army assembled and arduously advanced against an African anthill, assiduously annihilating ant after ant, and afterward, Alex astonishingly accuses Albert as also accepting Africa’s antipodal ant annexation. — Walter Abish, Alphabetical Africa (1974)
47. There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. —C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (1952)
48. He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish. — Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea (1952)
49. It was the day my grandmother exploded. — Iain M. Banks, The Crow Road (1992)
50. I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974. — Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex (2002)
51. Elmer Gantry was drunk. — Sinclair Lewis, Elmer Gantry (1927)
52. We started dying before the snow, and like the snow, we continued to fall. —Louise Erdrich, Tracks (1988)
53. It was a pleasure to burn. — Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (1953)
54. A story has no beginning or end; arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead. — Graham Greene, The End of the Affair (1951)
55. Having placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes’ chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression. — Flann O’Brien, At Swim-Two-Birds (1939)
56. I was born in the Year 1632, in the City of York, of a good Family, tho’ not of that Country, my Father being a Foreigner of Bremen, who settled first at Hull; He got a good Estate by Merchandise, and leaving off his Trade, lived afterward at York, from whence he had married my Mother, whose Relations were named Robinson, a very good Family in that Country, and from whom I was called Robinson Kreutznaer; but by the usual Corruption of Words in England, we are now called, nay we call our selves, and write our Name Crusoe, and so my Companions always call’d me. — Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe (1719)
57. In the beginning, sometimes I left messages in the street. — David Markson, Wittgenstein’s Mistress (1988)
58. Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress. — George Eliot, Middlemarch (1872)
59. It was love at first sight. — Joseph Heller, Catch-22 (1961)
60. What if this young woman, who writes such bad poems, in competition with her husband, whose poems are equally bad, should stretch her remarkably long and well-made legs out before you, so that her skirt slips up to the tops of her stockings? — Gilbert Sorrentino, Imaginative Qualities of Actual Things (1971)
61. I have never begun a novel with more misgiving. — W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor’s Edge (1944)
62. Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person. — Anne Tyler, Back When We Were Grownups (2001)
63. The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children’s games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up. — G. K. Chesterton, The Napoleon of Notting Hill (1904)
64. In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. — F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (1925)
65. You better not never tell nobody but God. — Alice Walker, The Color Purple (1982)
66. “To be born again,” sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, “first you have to die.” — Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses (1988)
67. It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York. — Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar (1963)
68. Most really pretty girls have pretty ugly feet, and so does Mindy Metalman, Lenore notices, all of a sudden. — David Foster Wallace, The Broom of the System (1987)
69. If I am out of my mind, it’s all right with me, thought Moses Herzog. — Saul Bellow, Herzog (1964)
70. Francis Marion Tarwater’s uncle had been dead for only half a day when the boy got too drunk to finish digging his grave and a Negro named Buford Munson, who had come to get a jug filled, had to finish it and drag the body from the breakfast table where it was still sitting and bury it in a decent and Christian way, with the sign of its Saviour at the head of the grave and enough dirt on top to keep the dogs from digging it up. — Flannery O’Connor, The Violent Bear it Away (1960)
71. Granted: I am an inmate of a mental hospital; my keeper is watching me, he never lets me out of his sight; there’s a peephole in the door, and my keeper’s eye is the shade of brown that can never see through a blue-eyed type like me. —GŸnter Grass, The Tin Drum (1959; trans. Ralph Manheim)
72. When Dick Gibson was a little boy he was not Dick Gibson. — Stanley Elkin, The Dick Gibson Show (1971)
73. Hiram Clegg, together with his wife Emma and four friends of the faith from Randolph Junction, were summoned by the Spirit and Mrs. Clara Collins, widow of the beloved Nazarene preacher Ely Collins, to West Condon on the weekend of the eighteenth and nineteenth of April, there to await the End of the World. —Robert Coover, The Origin of the Brunists (1966)
74. She waited, Kate Croy, for her father to come in, but he kept her unconscionably, and there were moments at which she showed herself, in the glass over the mantel, a face positively pale with the irritation that had brought her to the point of going away without sight of him. — Henry James, The Wings of the Dove (1902)
75. In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. — Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms (1929)
76. “Take my camel, dear,” said my Aunt Dot, as she climbed down from this animal on her return from High Mass. — Rose Macaulay, The Towers of Trebizond (1956)
77. He was an inch, perhaps two, under six feet, powerfully built, and he advanced straight at you with a slight stoop of the shoulders, head forward, and a fixed from-under stare which made you think of a charging bull. — Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim (1900)
78. The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. — L. P. Hartley, The Go-Between (1953)
79. On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilt a wyld boar he parbly ben the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs any how there hadnt ben none for a long time befor him nor I aint looking to see none agen. — Russell Hoban, Riddley Walker (1980)
80. Justice?—You get justice in the next world, in this world you have the law. —William Gaddis, A Frolic of His Own (1994)
81. Vaughan died yesterday in his last car-crash. — J. G. Ballard, Crash (1973)
82. I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. — Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle (1948)
83. “When your mama was the geek, my dreamlets,” Papa would say, “she made the nipping off of noggins such a crystal mystery that the hens themselves yearned toward her, waltzing around her, hypnotized with longing.” — Katherine Dunn, Geek Love (1983)
84. In the last years of the Seventeenth Century there was to be found among the fops and fools of the London coffee-houses one rangy, gangling flitch called Ebenezer Cooke, more ambitious than talented, and yet more talented than prudent, who, like his friends-in-folly, all of whom were supposed to be educating at Oxford or Cambridge, had found the sound of Mother English more fun to game with than her sense to labor over, and so rather than applying himself to the pains of scholarship, had learned the knack of versifying, and ground out quires of couplets after the fashion of the day, afroth with Joves and Jupiters, aclang with jarring rhymes, and string-taut with similes stretched to the snapping-point. —John Barth, The Sot-Weed Factor (1960)
85. When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon. —James Crumley, The Last Good Kiss (1978)
86. It was just noon that Sunday morning when the sheriff reached the jail with Lucas Beauchamp though the whole town (the whole county too for that matter) had known since the night before that Lucas had killed a white man. — William Faulkner, Intruder in the Dust (1948)
87. I, Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus This-that-and-the-other (for I shall not trouble you yet with all my titles) who was once, and not so long ago either, known to my friends and relatives and associates as “Claudius the Idiot,” or “That Claudius,” or “Claudius the Stammerer,” or “Clau-Clau-Claudius” or at best as “Poor Uncle Claudius,” am now about to write this strange history of my life; starting from my earliest childhood and continuing year by year until I reach the fateful point of change where, some eight years ago, at the age of fifty-one, I suddenly found myself caught in what I may call the “golden predicament” from which I have never since become disentangled. — Robert Graves, I, Claudius (1934)
88. Of all the things that drive men to sea, the most common disaster, I’ve come to learn, is women. — Charles Johnson, Middle Passage (1990)
89. I am an American, Chicago born—Chicago, that somber city—and go at things as I have taught myself, free-style, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent. —Saul Bellow, The Adventures of Augie March (1953)
90. The towers of Zenith aspired above the morning mist; austere towers of steel and cement and limestone, sturdy as cliffs and delicate as silver rods. — Sinclair Lewis, Babbitt (1922)
91. I will tell you in a few words who I am: lover of the hummingbird that darts to the flower beyond the rotted sill where my feet are propped; lover of bright needlepoint and the bright stitching fingers of humorless old ladies bent to their sweet and infamous designs; lover of parasols made from the same puffy stuff as a young girl’s underdrawers; still lover of that small naval boat which somehow survived the distressing years of my life between her decks or in her pilothouse; and also lover of poor dear black Sonny, my mess boy, fellow victim and confidant, and of my wife and child. But most of all, lover of my harmless and sanguine self. — John Hawkes, Second Skin (1964)
92. He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. —Raphael Sabatini, Scaramouche (1921)
93. Psychics can see the color of time it’s blue. — Ronald Sukenick, Blown Away (1986)
94. In the town, there were two mutes and they were always together. — Carson McCullers, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter (1940)
95. Once upon a time two or three weeks ago, a rather stubborn and determined middle-aged man decided to record for posterity, exactly as it happened, word by word and step by step, the story of another man for indeed what is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal, a somewhat paranoiac fellow unmarried, unattached, and quite irresponsible, who had decided to lock himself in a room a furnished room with a private bath, cooking facilities, a bed, a table, and at least one chair, in New York City, for a year 365 days to be precise, to write the story of another person—a shy young man about of 19 years old—who, after the war the Second World War, had come to America the land of opportunities from France under the sponsorship of his uncle—a journalist, fluent in five languages—who himself had come to America from Europe Poland it seems, though this was not clearly established sometime during the war after a series of rather gruesome adventures, and who, at the end of the war, wrote to the father his cousin by marriage of the young man whom he considered as a nephew, curious to know if he the father and his family had survived the German occupation, and indeed was deeply saddened to learn, in a letter from the young man—a long and touching letter written in English, not by the young man, however, who did not know a damn word of English, but by a good friend of his who had studied English in school—that his parents both his father and mother and his two sisters one older and the other younger than he had been deported they were Jewish to a German concentration camp Auschwitz probably and never returned, no doubt having been exterminated deliberately X * X * X * X, and that, therefore, the young man who was now an orphan, a displaced person, who, during the war, had managed to escape deportation by working very hard on a farm in Southern France, would be happy and grateful to be given the opportunity to come to America that great country he had heard so much about and yet knew so little about to start a new life, possibly go to school, learn a trade, and become a good, loyal citizen. —Raymond Federman, Double or Nothing (1971)
96. Time is not a line but a dimension, like the dimensions of space. — Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye (1988)
97. He—for there could be no doubt of his sex, though the fashion of the time did something to disguise it—was in the act of slicing at the head of a Moor which swung from the rafters. — Virginia Woolf, Orlando (1928)
98. High, high above the North Pole, on the first day of 1969, two professors of English Literature approached each other at a combined velocity of 1200 miles per hour. — David Lodge, Changing Places (1975)
99. They say when trouble comes close ranks, and so the white people did. — Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea (1966)
100. The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting. — Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of Courage (1895)
Sunday Scribblings 234 – Love
Posted by JM in Sunday Scribblings on September 26, 2010
Thought I’d go back to basics with a deceptively simple prompt: love.
I thought I would answer this with a poem. Well, if you can call it that. This is over five years old, back when I was just starting to use poetry to express myself, so please forgive the lack of poetic form. I wrote this for the man I’d just fallen in love with who wanted to back away because he thought I could do better than a long distance relationship.
Well, given that we’ve now been married for nearly three and a half years, I think I’ve shown him the distance I will go for what I want…
Does it Hurt
Does it hurt to have honor
when you long to touch her?
Does it hurt to step aside
when she returns what you feel?
How can you give her
to another man’s touch?
How can you bear
to need her in silence?
Does it hurt to only watch
when you care for her so?
Does it hurt to let her go
not knowing if she’ll return?
How do you resist
when she loves you
like you love her?
Guest Posts
Posted by JM in Announcements on September 21, 2010
I am still open to hosting guest posts if anyone cares to email me one or more. It should be on topic (writing) with as few swears as you can manage, but otherwise, I am pretty flexible.
My guest post needs:
*Provide a title
*250 – 500 words on pretty much anything writing related
*Short bio including your website link
Sunday Scribblings 232 – Clean
Posted by JM in Sunday Scribblings on September 19, 2010
Clean slate? Clean house? Clean teeth? Clean thoughts? Clean living? Clean lines? Clean laundry?
My mother has OCD, but a kind that isn’t about counting or handwashing. She needs things to be clean. There were times growing up when I didn’t even notice. Other times… Seeing her break down were some of the worst times of my childhood. There were times when I fancied myself as Cinderella, on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor because the floors needed to be clean, but my mother couldn’t kneel down to do it. And yet, sometimes it got so bad that she would kneel down to comb out the tassels on the rugs in the house.
When I moved to Australia and got a clean slate, I resisted cleaning. I didn’t want to be like her, and yet, I sometimes felt the rush of anxiety at seeing the mess. So I would have to clean for my own sake. But I wouldn’t be pedantic. I did what needed to be done and forced myself not to worry about the dust.
Sometimes I think my husband would like it if I embraced my mother’s cleaning habits more, but I can’t. I can’t let myself open that door. I do what I need to do, even though that means some messes deliberately stay messy. I still have my times when I have to brush everything off my desk except the bare essentials because I don’t have the time to clean because of work but I cannot stand to look at the mess. But those times are less and less.
Clean is overrated. And too clean is dangerous.
Pet Peeve 21 – Questioning Guidelines
Posted by JM in Pet Peeves on September 17, 2010
I am so, so tired of wandering around looking at writing sites and finding a multitude of sites dedicated to answering the same publisher and/or agent guidelines over and over. I can understand if you want to clarify something like a technical term or the like with someone who knows, but my teeth truly grind when I see someone ask something like this:
“The guidelines say to submit three consecutive chapters, but can I submit chapters three, nine, and eleven?”
Yes, I’ve seen it.
First, it’s not “can I” it’s “may I”. Secondly? Open a Word document, type in “consecutive”, and press shift and F7. (I’m assuming if you have a question like this about the guidelines, you don’t have an actual hard copy of a dictionary or thesaurus.) In none of the alternatives does it even hint that “three consecutive” is anything other than three in a row or three chapters – one after another.
Again, I understand clarifying something important and not obvious with someone who knows what they are doing, but do you really need clarification beyond your dictionary for what the word “consecutive” means?
Your manuscript is not special. Your manuscript is not a best-seller. The day your manuscript is special and/or a best-seller is when you’ve:
*Been accepted by the publisher/agent.
*Had a agent and/or copy-editor(s) go through it.
*Have your book on the stores shelves.
*Had people actually pick up your book and want to buy it.
If you let the experts get back to their jobs and stop answering questions about exactly what consecutive chapters means and why you absolutely shouldn’t send your manuscript on colored paper, then they’ll get through their piles of manuscripts faster and just might see yours someday.
WorldCon Panel Notes: Horrifying Australia
Posted by JM in Uncategorized on September 13, 2010
*When it comes to reasons Australia being scary, the wildlife always comes to mind. Air, water, trees, ground, underground…
*We have…
*Spiders that eat snakes and birds
*The Huntsman spider that is so quick that it doesn’t bother with webs
*20/25 of the top venomous snakes of the world
*Dive-bombing magpies (I can attest to this. A maggie gave me my first concussion.)
*Feral cats that, when feral, grow huge and begin to hunt in packs
*”They are all cute and fuzzy, but they will kill you.”
*Of course, to cover a few things other than wildlife. Australia…
*…is only 10% habitable land.
*…has a wide variety of poisonous plants
*…has bushfires with exploding eucalyptus trees.
*…accidentally lost a prime minister…
Something my husband wrote that I wish I’d had at the panel…
As an Aussie I’d like, in a friendly manner, to offer a cautionary word or two…
1. Insects & arachnids – we have a few here to give pause to the bravest souls. Couple of spiders that specialise in large mammalian types, another as big as a plate that likes meat. Got a couple of flies about an inch long that bite like the devil’s pitchfork.
2. Snakes – of the top 13 most poisonous snakes on the planet, we have 12 of them. The King Cobra is about No. 8 I think. The top five a a whole order of magnitude above all others, in toxicity & amount delivered. Tiger snakes like to come hunting if you so much as walk too close. Most of them like to swim.
We have a snake that like to climb trees & hang around till someone walks near the tree. They can flatten their bodies & glide so from 100ft tree you aren’t safe out to about 60ft away.
3. We have lizards that like to eat snakes…
4. Those kookaburras that you hear in jungle sound tracks in movies? The laughing jackass as we call them? They like to pick up poisonous snakes & fly up in the air & drop them. This tends not to please the snakes. Try not to be under one.
5. Kangaroos – about 4ft tall (the greys) up to about 7ft tall (the reds), claws an inch or more long, head of bone, hind legs able to rip the belly from a rhino. Get a little short tempered when anything gets between them & food. Try not to…
6. Wombats – short cute little sorts, build from molybdenum steel. If one starts running, DON’T let it hit you. You’ll lose the bit it hits. Sherman tanks were designed after them but they couldn’t quite get the solidity factor with mere metal.
7. Koalas – We keep them stoned on eucalyptus because they have muscles of steel to drive 2 inch claws. Australia would be uninhabitable if they ever get straight.
8. Emus – About the size of an Ostrich but meaner. Like to kick & capable of giving you new front ribs – sticking out your back
9. Cassowary’s – Emus are afraid of them, think they’re too stroppy.
10. You don’t need to worry about sharks in the estuary waters. The crocs ate them out…
When & if you get past all of that, you’ll probably reconsider the whole ‘raid’ idea & figure anything requiring that kind of commitment should probably result in you becoming an Aussie.
That’s OK, we’ve got a few nationalities here – 130+ at last count. We accept almost anyone. *grins* …who survives…
Pet Peeve 20 – Not Paying Attention
Posted by JM in Pet Peeves on September 10, 2010
Last week I mentioned people not paying attention to the point of misspelling titles. In the past, I’ve also mentioned taking care in all you do when it comes to writing properly.
Along those same lines, this week’s pet peeve is about writers who don’t pay attention overall. Their blue-eyed beauty mentioned on page 17 suddenly has green eyes on page 32. Not for any magical reasoning or because her eyes change color with her mood, but because the writer forgot.
Take notes. Write your story. Reread notes. Rewrite your story. Read your notes again. With any hope, your readers are interested in what your characters are doing. If you’re lousy at keeping your blue-haired hero with blue hair, then you need to start keeping better notes.
Don’t even try to get me to read something lengthy of yours if you don’t have some sort of notes.
For those who are forgetful and/or don’t pay attention, here’s a list of the previous pet peeves. Call it a 20th Anniversary Edition.
1. That vs Who
2. Books Into Movies
3. Filler Words
4. Thinking
5. And then… And then…
6. Words
7. Spelling
8. Consistency
9. Dialogue Tags Part One
10. Dialogue Tags Part Two
11. So the Sky is Blue? Wow!
12. Tell Me One More Time
13. “Ah,” said he.
14. Paragraph Breaks
15. Poetry Capitalization
16. Blogging for Money Discussion
17. Nausea
18. Prose or Poetry
19. The Basics
AussieCon4 in Bullets
Posted by JM in Conventions on September 8, 2010
Originally posted to my LiveJournal – links are to LJ accounts.
I feel like writing out my thoughts bullet style rather than a day to day synopsis sort of post. Here goes!
*
nyssap was a lovely house guest and roommate. Without her, I don’t think I would have made it to the con nor met many of the awesome people I met.
*I took a different approach to this conference than I have to cons in the past. I was there as a reader and reviewer, but also in a professional role representing www.pumpupyourbook.com That in and of itself helped me to feel more confident when talking to people. It also helped me to relax about schedules, where I had to be, etc. I was less focused on me as the writer trying to get to all the panels and more focused on me as a woman with multiple sides beyond being a writer. Taking a more relaxed approach was truly the way to go.
*I found all the panels I did go to fascinating and well worth the time spent sitting. With the exception of one panel that almost became a battle royale between the feminists and the lone male participant, everyone got along fine, were well-spoken and interesting. I can’t think of a panel where I didn’t wish we could stay longer and talk more.
*Listening to Russell Kirkpatrick talk about maps is fascinating. The block lasted two hours and I still wished it could have gone on longer.
*I do wish I would have had a little more time for socializing. Getting a big hug from
eneit in person and being able to sit down with
gillpolack for a chat was all made of awesome.
*I had a lot of fun on the last day shedding my professional and writer sides to become pure fan girl. Garth Nix, Narrelle M. Harris and Trudi Canavan were all wonderful enough to sign my books. I had extended chats with Nix and Harris, which were both excellent. I love listening to authors talk about their work and their inspirations.
*Frankly, I am still in shock that I didn’t get sick during the convention and I’m not sick now. Could it be that Australia has well and truly cured me of all my ills? Or could it be…
*According to rumours going around,
chuckmck1 thinks that is very possible I am one of the undead, as I do not snore or even make breathing sounds when I sleep (he crashed on the floor of Nyssa’s and my room after the horror ball). All I have to say to that at this point is: No comment.




Critique Notes