Ah, my lovely pet peeves.
This one, unlike other Pet Peeve subject titles, doesn’t have to do with overuse of “and then” because I haven’t seen it used enough in a way that annoys me. But that isn’t to say it’s okay to use “and then” was too much.
No, no, no.
This isn’t as common a pet peeve as others, but with some new writers, I’ve noticed I get told (and not shown or at least told in an entertaining way) action after action with no break for main character thought, dialogue, or anything else.
I know it can be hard to think of non-fluff things when you’re moving your army north or when your main character is training in the martial arts, but you have to give the reader something besides “and then they were here doing this…” “and then they were there doing that…”
If it helps, think of writing a story as baking a cake. You have the ingredients: action, dialogue, description, internal dialogue, conflict, and other things. Too much of one thing or not enough of another at any given time (the measurements depend on what kind of cake you’re making) and either no one is going to be interested or they’ll think your cake tastes funny.
Be careful that you are adding in the right amount of certain ingredients in certain places. If you find yourself getting bored with the details of moving your army, your reader will likely get bored too. Spice it up.
If you’re stuck as how to do that with your piece, email me and I’ll be more than happy to give you suggestions.
Now I’m hungry.
Happy writing!
