InkyBlots

Guest pet peeve by Jennifer Shirk

Bad Editing

I picked up a book a few months ago that sounded cute. I started reading it and had formed a mental picture of what the heroine looked like.

You with me so far? Good. Because then something happened.

She changed hair color.

Yes. She changed hair color about 1/2 to 3/4 of the way through the book. And I don’t mean “she went to the beauty salon for a new look” changed hair color.

No. All of a sudden she was a blonde. Poof. Just like that.

So I had to go back to the first chapter and double check my mistake. Surely I must have just thought she was a brunette. But no. There it was. The hero thinking to himself what a pretty brunette she was.

Ah-ha! So it wasn’t me. Someone had made a booboo.

Grrr.

This is probably one of the most often confusing pair of words I’ve seen/read/used. And why not when they’re so similar in spelling and sound.

When you think affect, think influence.

“Her speech affected my mood.”

When you think effect, think primarily noun. Or ’cause and effect’.

“Her speech had an effect on me.”

Affect is more commonly used as a verb meaning to influence or to have an effect on something. Notice that even in that sentence, ‘effect’ is used as a noun.

Effect as a noun means result or consequence.

Where things might get confusing is when effect is used as a verb. But even then, the meaning is “to bring about”.

“She hoped to effect a change in the way people think.”

Yes, it’s a verb, but it still has a different meaning than affect. If you remember to think affect for influence and ’cause and effect’ it’ll help.

Stop with the over punctuation already!

I don’t know if it is because of the rise of the internet culture or what else, but the overuse of the question mark and exclamation mark is beyond annoying.

So stop it already.

If you use one question mark, I get it – it’s a question. I also understand with just one exclamation point that the statement is being made at a louder than normal volume. Using more than one of either those implies you think I’m not intelligent enough to understand what those punctuation marks mean without a couple more behind the first one.

The last thing I want to critique or edit is something by some unpublished author who hasn’t taken the time to open any other book on the planet and note that other authors don’t do that.

Yes, I said ‘unpublished’. You didn’t think you were going to get published abusing your punctuation marks like that, did you?

Did you know the current status of a certain site on the internet, small in size, has been given up by the original founder?

Ugh. Gag me with a spoon.

It’s true enough that most students who actually put in enough effort to complete their homework and finish their papers have most likely developed all the skills needed to meet those minimum word/page requirements. However, we should get over that habit as quickly as possible if we want to have any credibility as writers.

Why some people insist on putting entirely too many words for what they want to say is beyond me. Writing like that does not make you look smart; it makes you look like a writer who is keen on being redundant.

“reason why”
“current status”
“small in size”
“original founder”
“end result”
“refer back”
“two polar opposites” (Hello!)

There are plenty of them out there, and none of them are good. Unfortunately, most of them are a regular part of English. However, that does not mean you get to be lazy with your writing.

Check your work. Say more with fewer words. Be concise.

Please. Let the rest of the world get back to using spoons for soup and cereal.

Please submit a list of all employees broken down by sex.

We know what that should means, but we also know what that could mean.

I dislike double meanings when I’m reading a story because it distracts me from the novel. I truly hate sentences that could mean more than one thing when filling out legal documents or reading things for research.

Basically put, this is a lesson in paying attention to what you’re writing. The English language is a funny thing with multiple meanings and words that sound the same but have three different ways to spell them.

To, too, and two. Their, there, and they’re. These aren’t quite the sentence above, but they’re all the more reason to pay attention and get your intended meaning across. It’ll safe you from instant slush pile, and it might just save you from embarrassment.

A lot of embarrassment.

Compliment vs complement. This is one of the more subtle mistakes writers make in that it’s a difference of one letter. It’s not something I see entirely too much, though, so it doesn’t grind my teeth like other peeves.

Complement can be used as a verb as well as a noun.

Compliment is also a verb and a noun.

Lovely, isn’t it? You have to love the English language. So with this one, you have to concentrate on the definitions because the usual ‘tips and tricks’ don’t apply.

Complement means to satisfy a need or complete a whole.

Compliment means praise. If you remember that this means praise and only praise, then you should be okay with it.

To apply this one:

Her work complemented the rest of the team’s work. (satisfied a need, completed a whole)

The team complimented her for her work. (praised)?

Think of all the “shiny, happy, perfect” people in your life. Most people have at least one. I had one who decided she would be my high school rival. Until she realized I could pretty much wipe the floor with her.

These are the people you hate for some reason or another, be the person chauvinistic, loose with money, a braggart, or whatever other quality you want to dislike. Above it all, you dislike them because they’re ‘perfect’.

Now, unless you want your readers to abhor your main character, don’t make him or her into one of the happy, shiny people! Or at least take it all away from him or her as soon as possible.

People want to read about people they can identify with, not their boss who’d they’d rather see roast than in the next best seller. Give your hero a flaw, a crack, a prejudice, a something that makes him or her at least a little more human.

But let’s not pretend putting a cigarette in your MC’s hand will solve all of his or her perfection problems.

I want to read about a main character with a tick, a past, a bad habit – anything to make him or her seem more real to me. Having everything drop into his or her lap, having all the perfect qualities needed to beat the challenge straight off from the beginning… All of that is going to bore your reader.

People want to read about the struggle, and there is probably no struggle your readers can identify with quicker than internal struggle. I don’t want to hear about the internal struggles of the shiny, happy people. They’re likely struggles I either don’t care about or don’t want to read about anyway.

So take your main character off his or her pedestal, kick him/her around a bit, give him/her reasons to doubt/fear/question, and you just might end up with a character I want to read about.

There’s a little saying when it comes to writing I wish every wannabe writer would have tattooed on their forehead the moment they consider writing something:

If you don’t read it, don’t write it.

I’ve been writing for a long time and became known as a writer in middle school. (As much as you can be considered such at that age and writing ability.) When it got around the rumor mill that I wanted to write stories, people would come talk to me about how cool it would be to write books or how they should start their own books (oh, glory), etc.

And wouldn’t you believe it, it still happens today.

Sometimes I welcome it and even encourage it. Some fail (miserably) and go back to reading and appreciating, while others demonstrate a very real talent.

When it bothers me is when someone who I know doesn’t like reading all that much declares s/he is going to write. Or even better, when someone I know is an avid romance novel reader decides s/he is going to write the next breakout crime thriller.

“Have you ever read a crime thriller?”

“Well, no, but I have this great idea -”

It only goes downhill from there.

Write what you read.

Writing sucks blood, sweat, tears, alcohol, and cigarette smoke from you. It’s a lonely existence at times with your only friends at that time being the computer, your music, and your sin of choice. You might as well be writing something you actually enjoy if you’re going to make the commitment. Writing something you a.) don’t read and thus b.) don’t know much (if anything) about is only going to lead to a bad story. That is, if you even complete it.

Look at wherever you keep your books. Are there mostly biographies? Mostly sci-fi? Mystery? That should give you a clue as to what you just might should be writing. And if you haven’t read at least fifty books in your chosen genre, don’t talk to me until you have. I don’t care about your grand visions or how good your mom says your story is.

It’s simple. It truly, truly is. I’ve mentioned it before, albeit briefly.

“Can” is about ability. “May” is about permission.

Can you fly? No. May you fly? Well, you certainly can feel free to try. You don’t need my permission.

“Can I have a piece of cake?” If you have a mouth and a digestive system, I reckon you can!

“Can” is a question or whether or not you have the ability to do something. Asking if you can have a piece of cake is pretty ridiculous unless you’re unsure of your food allergies, and you’re asking your doctor if it’s okay. Even then, s/he’s likely to say, “You can have a piece of cake, but it’ll go straight to your bum and make your tongue swell up.”

(Allergic to cake? My nephew has an egg allergy – no traditional cakes for him, so it does happen.)

“May” is all about permission. You have the ability, but the action is not yours to take without the permission of someone. May you go to the bathroom is a perfectly acceptable question. Asking can you go to the bathroom could very well mean you’re asking the person of authority to check whether or not you have a bladder.

Can = ability.

May = permission.

All clear now?

This is actually something I didn’t learn/didn’t pay attention to until my Women’s Studies course in college, but the lesson made enough of an impression to truly stick with me.

In my opinion, if you talk/type like a goon elsewhere, I’m not at all likely to read your work. That’s why I stray into mentioning pet peeves in what I hear and/or see in debates, speeches, etc instead of what I only see people doing in their writing.

I’ll forgive you if you say something wrong occasionally because we have our own weird accents. (If you type like you speak and type “gonna” instead of “going to” then we have something to talk about.) But it grinds my nerves when people use words when they don’t know the meanings and other things like that.

For the Princess Bride fans out there, remember this?

“Inconceivable!”

“I do not think that means what you think that means.”

So in comes sex versus gender. People tend to interchange these two words as if they mean the exact same things. I’ve even seen it done (repeatedly) in sex and/versus gender debates. So here it is in simple terms, and it’s easy to remember. At least, the sex bit is.

Sex is biological. His sex is male because he has balls, a penis, and a good lot of testosterone.

Gender is society’s way of fitting you in a box. She cooks and cleans because those are her stereotypical gender roles.

Your sex is decided by your parts and your chromosomes.

Gender is a social construct.

He can cook and clean just as well as she can because gender roles aren’t rules. She, however, can’t magically grow a penis and change her sex.

Have I made it clear now?

So the next time you tell your partner they do this or that because s/he is the wo/man, you’d better be talking about menstruation or getting a hard-on, not the dishes.