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WorldCon Panel Notes: Horrifying Australia

*When it comes to reasons Australia being scary, the wildlife always comes to mind. Air, water, trees, ground, underground…

*We have…
*Spiders that eat snakes and birds
*The Huntsman spider that is so quick that it doesn’t bother with webs
*20/25 of the top venomous snakes of the world
*Dive-bombing magpies (I can attest to this. A maggie gave me my first concussion.)
*Feral cats that, when feral, grow huge and begin to hunt in packs

*”They are all cute and fuzzy, but they will kill you.”

*Of course, to cover a few things other than wildlife. Australia…
*…is only 10% habitable land.
*…has a wide variety of poisonous plants
*…has bushfires with exploding eucalyptus trees.
*…accidentally lost a prime minister…

Something my husband wrote that I wish I’d had at the panel…

As an Aussie I’d like, in a friendly manner, to offer a cautionary word or two…

1. Insects & arachnids – we have a few here to give pause to the bravest souls. Couple of spiders that specialise in large mammalian types, another as big as a plate that likes meat. Got a couple of flies about an inch long that bite like the devil’s pitchfork.

2. Snakes – of the top 13 most poisonous snakes on the planet, we have 12 of them. The King Cobra is about No. 8 I think. The top five a a whole order of magnitude above all others, in toxicity & amount delivered. Tiger snakes like to come hunting if you so much as walk too close. Most of them like to swim.

We have a snake that like to climb trees & hang around till someone walks near the tree. They can flatten their bodies & glide so from 100ft tree you aren’t safe out to about 60ft away.

3. We have lizards that like to eat snakes…

4. Those kookaburras that you hear in jungle sound tracks in movies? The laughing jackass as we call them? They like to pick up poisonous snakes & fly up in the air & drop them. This tends not to please the snakes. Try not to be under one.

5. Kangaroos – about 4ft tall (the greys) up to about 7ft tall (the reds), claws an inch or more long, head of bone, hind legs able to rip the belly from a rhino. Get a little short tempered when anything gets between them & food. Try not to…

6. Wombats – short cute little sorts, build from molybdenum steel. If one starts running, DON’T let it hit you. You’ll lose the bit it hits. Sherman tanks were designed after them but they couldn’t quite get the solidity factor with mere metal.

7. Koalas – We keep them stoned on eucalyptus because they have muscles of steel to drive 2 inch claws. Australia would be uninhabitable if they ever get straight.

8. Emus – About the size of an Ostrich but meaner. Like to kick & capable of giving you new front ribs – sticking out your back

9. Cassowary’s – Emus are afraid of them, think they’re too stroppy.

10. You don’t need to worry about sharks in the estuary waters. The crocs ate them out…

When & if you get past all of that, you’ll probably reconsider the whole ‘raid’ idea & figure anything requiring that kind of commitment should probably result in you becoming an Aussie.

That’s OK, we’ve got a few nationalities here – 130+ at last count. We accept almost anyone. *grins* …who survives…

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The Best Time to Write

I have inadvertently found my best time to write.

When I was younger, my best time to write was, well, anytime. Whenever I had a spare moment, it was usually spent writing. As I grew older, I started gravitating towards writing during the night – especially family television time. Since I moved to Australia, I haven’t found the ‘best’ time for writing.

That was, until today.

I was going to give you a schedule of my average day, but it really depends on when I get up, whether I decided to exercise mid-morning or mid-afternoon and if I remember to take breakfast and lunch breaks. All said and done, emails, work, exercise and eating take me from when I wake up to about 3.30pm.

When 3.30 hits, I find myself starting to get antsy and thinking about what I should cook for dinner. That’s when I know it’s time to have a shower or bath, which takes me until about 4pm including drying off time and an email check-in.

Bam! 4pm is time to write.

I don’t know why it took me so long to realize it, but when I sat down at the computer to get back to work at 4 today, I thought, “Wow, I’d rather be writing.”

It’s the perfect time to write as well. I get to stop working for a while and think about something else, the husband won’t be home for at least an hour and any preparation for dinner can be done at five. (Before any of you hate me for knocking off at 3.30 for a hot bath or shower, just know that after the husband gets home, I’m back on the computer working.)

I’m very excited to have found my best time that doesn’t involve me rearranging my life in any major way. One small step in the Year of the Novel.

When do you prefer to write? Do you have a best time?

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Australian Speculative Fiction Blog Canival – December ’09 InkyBlots Edition

On a Journey Banner

Yep, as it turns out, after you become a resident of Australia they let you do all kinds of cool things like host their blog carnivals and use the quilted toilet paper when you come over to visit.

Cool beans.

Because it’s my blog carnival (and because Nyssa told me that there’s no way I can screw this up), I’m going to start off with a few of my bits and bobs. Then I’ll get to the good stuff.

*For those of you who don’t know, I work for Pump Up Your Book Promotion as an online publicist for authors. Well, I haven’t made the big announcement yet, but I’m being all sneaky and such for Australian authors.

Instead of having to convert tour prices to US dollars from Australian, I’m saying, “Screw that.” (Like I say to most things that involve me doing maths.) If you’re an Australian author, then consider all prices in Australian dollars – no matter what the exchange rate does in 2010.

*Calling all authors! Take a chance on a blog starting up on January first some free promotion in 2010. Just click here for more details.

*Just because I fancy myself a writer, here are a couple of my short bits: Hungry and Virgins are Messy.

Warming Up… (AKA not really spec fic)

*For a good laugh or some obvious advice on how not to run your epublishing company, check out this little tidbit on Delta Publishing – found on EREC.

*Blog fodder, writing warm up, whatever… 12 Stories You Can Tell on Your Blog by ProBlogger

*Just because I love Kaaron Warren‘s ‘Typical Fijian Conversations’. This one is about pizza

Going, Going…

*Writer Unboxed has some excellent advice on Writing in More than One World and When the Going Gets Tough – All Consuming Inspiration or Little Ideas?

*Tracey from Speculating about fiction contemplates writing The Unlikeable Character.

*Ellen of Forge&Brew might not be writing so much right now, but her brain is still buzzing

*And on to Lee Battersby’s blo- AAAHHHH!

*Eneit provides a brief post and a giggle about writing and distance.

*If you’re more of a podcast person, check out Terra Incognita:The Australian Speculative Fiction podcast

*Gillian is thinking about the money side of being a novelist with part one and part two of Fiction and Money.

*Dragonkat aka editormum posts about what she does and the differences between reviewing and critiquing.

*A blog carnival wouldn’t be right without an interview, so check out Bibliophile Stalker interview K.J. Bishop.

*Congratulations to Trudi Canavan for topping SFcrowsnest’s Top Fantasy, Horror and Science Fiction Books Chart of 2009 with The Magician’s Apprentice.

*On StrangeHorizons authors discuss the Global Reach of Speculative Fiction.

*Fleur McDonald balances life and edit deadlines well, but she’s not sure she wants to do it again…

*Patty Jensen gives some basic but good to remember advice on selling your fiction.

*A Writer on a Journey wants to know: Do you love the stuff (glossaries, family trees, maps, etc) put at the end of books or do you hate it?

*…and don’t forget to join the Writer Goes on a Journey Monthly Challenges.

*Tansy Rayner Roberts begins to explore Scrivener (again), examines girl stuff and boy stuff on TV for kids and calls for more diversity, and discusses Sex, YA novels, and Cory Doctorow. Plus Tansy asks some deep questions about book purchases in her post Fiction By The Pound, Quality Versus Quantity, thinks about what she has learnt from the Last Short Story Project and why she reads women, and in a moment of insanity, Tansy and her Nanomates come up with the Nanowrimo Reality TV Show!

*Tansy’s also been doing an awesome series on juggling writing and motherhood.

*Alisa Krasnostein asks is it still Science Fiction if a character gets her period? She also gets by with a lot of help from her friends, discusses how she doesn’t actually have to explain why she sets the submission guidelines that she sets, and is nominated for a LOT of awards! Alisa points us to the Overland Subscriberthon, announces a sequel to the infamous Horn, and talks about what she has learnt over the last few years about Publicity and Promotion.

*SALE! SALE! SALE!

*Alisa has also been incredibly prolific on her Twelfth Planet Press blog, where she talks about little things, sales at Australian conventions, the value of review copies and behind the scenes in TPP Indie Press. She also discusses goal setting in business.

*Twelfth Planet Press is also open to Novelette submissions for their  Novelette Doubles editions, made famous by Tansy Rayner Roberts and Rob Shearman. Your book could be in the next double! Check out the guidelines today!

*Sarah Parker wraps up her Last Short Story reading for the year, and then thinks about it some more over here. Alisa, Tansy and Alex have their say. Ben also puts in some cents, and Alisa tackles Science Fiction and changes in being a reader, and how this might change the nature of what SF is in the future. Tansy also thinks about things some more on her blog here.

*Ian Mond gets very chatty, doing a series of posts critiquing various speculative fiction books and movies. He covers F&SF Magazine Oct/Nov, ‘The Wheel Man’ by Duane Swierczynski, ‘Doctor Who: The Krillitane Storm’ by Christopher Cooper, ‘Love Songs for the Shy and Cynical‘ by Robert Shearman, City of Saints‘ by Jeff Vandemeer, Old Boy (a movie), ‘Doctor Who: Autonomy’ by Daniel Blythe, ‘The Magicians,’ by Lev Grossman, ‘Doctor Who: The Taking of Chelsea 426′ by David Llewellyn, ‘Slaughterhouse 5‘ by Kurt Vonnegut, and finally, ‘Mr Stitch,’ starring Rutger Hauer.

*Ripley Patton has been doing a lot of thinking lately. She’s been exploring her thoughts on professionalism on the net, what keeps writers from writing, ten tips for imroving your titles, finding visibility as a writer, and asks for our thoughts on what makes a great author’s website. She also celebrates positive emails from an agent!

*A new writing group following the traditions of ROR have started up in Perth, called WA Egoboo. Five writers, five novels, one beautiful location, and now a blog! Contributors to Egoboo were Satima Flavell, Joanna Fay, Sarah Parker, Carol Ryles and Helen Venn. Expect to see more from them!

*ROR also has heaps of stuff going down, with Glenda Larke talking about her Nano in Malaysia, a list of books to be published next year by ROR Contributors, and Kylie Chan does a guest post on Cultural Differences.

*Paul Haines has rebooted his website, listing some of the reviews of Slice of Life and the four Aurealis Awards nominations he has recieved.

*The AHWA have been recommending a lot of reading!

Awards! Awards! Awards!

*The Aurealis Awards Shortlist has been announced! Buy your tickets here! Or ring Pulp Fiction bookstore (07 3236 2750)

*Victoria’s Chronos Awards are now open for Nominations! Check it out!

***The January Australian Spec Fic Carnival is being hosted by the lovely ladies at Egoboo next month! If you see any webpages you’d like to suggest, please email us! We’re accepting submissions all month!***

If I left anyone out… Well… It’s because you didn’t let me use the quilted toilet paper and nobody sent me chocolate.

Until another blog next month, enjoy the carnival.

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